d20 Ocean-Adjacent Bastards (OABs)

You can’t have a good harbor without some OABs to populate it. 

1. Dog Neck Jim. Misuses big words but secretly knows what they mean. 
2. Cannibal Bob. Not actually a cannibal but would like everyone to think he is. 
3. Whalestabber Frederick. Everyone precious to him has been swallowed by whales, not all of them are dead. 
4. Beardless Greymustache. Attempting to invent a Universal Language, sprinkles invented words into his speech. 
5. Moderately Fancy Dan. Whittles caricatures of people he meets. 
6. Thomas The Deserter. Claims to be an unfairly deposed nobleman but keeps forgetting what title he used to have. 
7. Barbados Nimrod. Two peg legs, still somehow extremely fast and agile. 
8. Half-Mermaid Charles. Aspiring gourmand looking for new tastes. 
9. The Sicilian. Wants to learn more about poison, but isn’t sure where to start since they don’t exactly offer classes in poisoning. Or maybe they do, he’s very new to this and doesn’t know. 
10. Todd Piss. Lives in a large barrel that he claims is an inn. 
11. Old Bastard Ron. Claims to be merely the messenger for an unseen criminal boss who doesn’t exist. 
12. Praise-God Barebone. Actually ambivalent about god. 
13. Fish Head Edward. Zealous and evangelistic believer in theophagy. 
14. Orichalcums Rayleigh. Completely imperturbable. 
15. Hook-Legged Harry. Sleeper agent for nefarious undersea kingdom. 
16. Immense Johnson Hell. Convinced that ancient sea gods are sending him messages encoded in the bumpy skin of crustaceans, will pay top dollar for interesting crabs. 
17. Dubious-Story Alistair. Fervently believes self to be an advanced clockwork automaton. 
18. Cateyes Mac. Claims to have slain famous sea monsters that no one has ever heard of. 
19. Five-Bones Herman. Very old, has never been in a fight, tries to pick one with everyone he sees. 
20. Eduardo Death. Has just invented a sword-gun hybrid and wants someone to test it out. He’d do it himself but he’s not entirely sure it won’t explode. 

When I copied this post from blogspot’s editor into my notes app to edit it, it was inexplicably preceded by a complete set of zodiac symbols, so this is now officially a Homestuck Post.